Things I wish I was vs Things I actually Am.

Most of us are one thing and wish we were another.  Even the Apostle Paul asked the question, "why don't I do what I want to do but do what I don't want to do?" (my paraphrasing obviously).  For some reason today on my walk (probably to keep myself from focusing on the sweat, and burn and terrible pace) I began to think about those things to make a list in my head.  What I wish I were vs. what I actually am.

I wish I were graceful vs. I am the least graceful person I know... You know the phrase "Bull in a china shop" that phrase was actually written about me, or at least it could have been.  I routinely break precious and non-precious items while doing normal things like dusting, walking, and breathing.  I seem to be much stronger then I realize and apparently have a magnetism toward the ridiculous situations.  I play "Mystery Bruise" in the shower most mornings but can never remember if I got the bruise from running into the corner of the kitchen counter or walking into the push mower when I mowed it into a hole.  Despite my apparent lack of light-footedness and the fact that it seems to be something you inherit (my sister suffers as well as my barely four year old son who sounds like a rhino whenever he walks anywhere) there is still a place inside me that really believes that I am holding onto an excessive amount of talent in the dancing and figure skating world if only I had the right venue in which to unleash my furry.

I wish I were dainty vs. I am sooooo not dainty... I know this goes right along with being graceful but this is more of an inward trait I'm missing.  My laughs do not "tinkle like crystal" or sound like "water splashing through a little brook" my laughs are not endearing or sweet; I sound like a flock of honking geese.  Wouldn't that be one for the Jane Austin books, "he looked her way when he heard her laugh sound across the room like a flock of geese honking there way south..." Boy is that romantic. I wish that when I was mad I could seethe with a quiet determination, or that when I was said I would shed a quiet solitary tear or that when I'm happy I could merely smile with a mysterious smile.  But no, when I'm mad I cry (stupid tears making me seam weak) when I'm said I cry, when I'm happy, yes sometimes I cry, and if I don't cry I dance, jump and yell.  And people, when I cry I don't weep like a fair maiden, oh no I bawl and tears flow and I make noise and my nose is like a faucet which doesn't only drip but gushes forth!  I wish that I were quiet and mysterious but I'm not I'm loud and when I get excited my voice raises a couple of pitches and my arms fling about me like I'm crazy.

I wish I were beautiful but at least I'm normal.  I wish I were thin, though I know I could be much plumper, I wish my hair was curly or straight instead of whatever it is in between.  I wish I were a perfect mother who never yells or looses her temper and that I was always innovative in the bedroom.  I wish I didn't accidentally spend too much money and that when I cook I didn't make so much of a mess. I wish, I wish, I wish...

On the other hand I know that God made me, and while I know there's plenty not perfect with me I think there's a lot that's good.  I know that while having a laugh that tinkles like a bell would be nice it's a lot nicer to be nice, to be generous and to love those around you.  I know that my husband is glad he married me (though I often wonder why), and I have never ever wanted to be with any one but him.  Our children make me laugh and cry and sigh and I would never want to change that.  I know that while I strive to loose 40 lbs what I really want is to become the woman that God wants me to be.  That some how God thinks my laugh is endearing and that the fact that I cry when I'm mad is sweet, so really I guess I don't want to be that Jane Austin Character, I'd rather be me; maybe a slightly thinner more peaceful me, but a me that people trust with their hurts and joys, a me that gives back and does the right thing.  Thanks God for making me me.

so if I weren't me he wouldn't be who he is... Oh fine I just put it in here because he's so darn cute!!

Would you like to sew an easy apron?

Well then I have the project for you.  In fact I almost hesitate to share this with you because it is so simple that you will start to question all of my "hand made" gifts.  Sometimes, however it's nice to have a project that isn't the marrying kind of commitment but just a summer fling or evening flirtation.  What I mean to say is sometimes I'm in the mood to create but I want simple, fast and minimal clean up.  So if you are in need of a project like that or are new to sewing this will be perfect.

Find a dish towel.  Yes, a dish towel, one that is already made and one that you like a lot.  Twos Company sells really cute ones but they're just a little too expensive to buy to fill my washing and drying needs but not too expensive to turn into super cute aprons so that is why I came up with this idea.  I mean I could cut and applique and embroider the perfect dish towel but why should I if it's already been done?  Any way this particular apron is made from a Twos Company towel as a gift for one of my coffee girls graduation present (perfect right?).  Then go to the fabric store or your stash (if your lucky enough to have the space for one) and get a yard or so of a coordinating fabric preferably in a cotton.  This next step is my least favorite because by now I'm really antsy to get started but you MUST wash your dish towel and fabric before you sew or all your hard work will be for nothing (imagine the different pieces shrinking and tearing when you wash them after spilling chocolate milk on your apron for the first time because that will happen eventually; the spilling I mean).

Next get out your ruler or tape measure and shears (I have no idea how to spell scissors so I'm going with the Granny term shears) and measure across the width of your apron (the part that will be the apron waist) add two inches onto that measurement, this will be the measurement for the width of your fabric for your waist band.  Then decide how tall you want your waist band to be, I like mine pretty tall say six inches, then double that and add on two inches (so 14 inches in my case).  Your measurements will make a rectangle on your fabric cut out this rectangle and fold it in half down (so that the waist band is now longer then it is tall or in my case 12 inches by 7 inches, this fold will sandwich the top of the dish towel).  Open up your waist band and fold each raw end in one inch and iron (this way when you go to sandwich the towel all the raw ends will be folded under).

Next cut your apron ties from what's left of your fabric.  Decide how long you want them and then make them about six inches wide.  Cut two.  Iron them in half, folded down so that they are now three inches wide, with right sides (the pretty side) facing.  Sew along the long edge 1/4 inch away from edge and then turn and sew down one short side.  Turn right side out.

Finally sandwich your dish towel in your waist band and pin in place. Then put the ends of your apron ties (the unsewn end) in each end of the waist band and pin in place.  Sew 1/4 inch all the way around the three sides (short side, long side being sure your catching the towel, and short side).  And voila you now have a finished apron.  And I promise it's easy, if my directions are rambling and confusing just use your common sense.  If you try this and have a question for goodness sakes Face Book me or leave a comment here.

this was so fun and easy I felt guilty plus I wanted to use my new book "An Embroidery Companion" so I cross stitched the student's first initial into the waist band before I sewed it to the dish towel.

Sometimes Giving a home made gift isn't what you dreamed it would be.

As in I dreamed that this giraffe would be the hit of the birthday party.  People ooing and aahing over how talented I am and how hard I must have worked to finish this little cutie.  I imagined that in time this giraffe would become my nieces favorite stuffed toy; you know the one she can't sleep with out the one that goes every where with her.  I imagined that this toy would be loved so well it would loose an eye and get really floppy. That some day it would end up in an antiques shop and someone like my mom would see it and fall in love with it and buy it for an unreasonable sum saying all the time "I have to have it, you can tell how loved the poor thing was." then they would take it home and display it on an old child's rocking chair next to a ratty stuffed dog and a bunny missing an ear!

That is what I imagined would happen... what actually happened was my sister-in-law pulled the toy out of the bag while my niece was trying to escape off her blanket back to her cake and said "Oh how cute a sock monkey." (let yourself pause here to get the full effect of my let down) then I giggled politely so she would know that wasn't right and she said "I mean sock giraffe." Friends this toy is neither a monkey (I hate monkeys) or was it ever a sock.  I CROCHETED this GIRAFFE during the afternoons while the children were asleep and in the evenings after they were in bed, I went to wal-mart (WAL-MART YUCK!) because the face didn't look right in the colored yarn I already had on hand and it was late.  Oh well my favorite crafter (I hate that term isn't there a more romantic term then crafter?) Alicia Paulson (who's new book, The Embroidery Companion, I LOVE) warned me this could happen.  In her first book, Stitched in Time, she talks about how there will be times when people won't appreciate what you've made them quite as much as you do...

And you know what that's all right with me because I still feel like a hand made gift is more special then any thing I could buy in the store (especially any fisher price light up crap) Tasha Tudor says that when you make someone a gift you gift them twice; once in the actual gift and a second in the time you took out of your schedule to make them something because you thought of them.  I like to use the time when I'm making something to stitch and sew little prayers and hopes for that person (especially when it's children) into the project.  And I like to think that some of that magic is left there.  A piece of me, so that when they hold the toy or wear the garments they will feel how much I love them and how much I hope for them.  The blessings that I want to give them but am not sure how to put into words I put into stitches instead.

This giraffe has rather large arms which I like to think of as muscles; and really doesn't a little girl need a stuffed animal with large muscles to keep her safe from the boogy man at night?  The bib I did mostly in the car on our Maine trip.  My niece had a rough start in life spending the first many months of her life in the hospital so I wanted this bib to be light and free, full of colors and flowers and the idea that she will be a free spirit blowing with the wind, following her dreams.  And a sun because of that Irish blessing, "The Lord let his face shine upon you."

A Trip to Maine

  This post has been a long time coming but summer is so wonderful I find it hard to sit at the computer (well harder then in the dreary months of winter).  Also I almost hesitate to post any pictures because it really doesn't give you an idea of how amazing and awesomely beautiful everything was but I'll post and you imagine it being three times more pretty. This was the first big trip we have taken since we started having kids and the biggest trip since our honey moon.  I think it was the first time we've even gone somewhere over night without the kids so it was a welcome respite.  I was nervous when we first started planning the trip because it was going to be a very long car ride (that and I'm always nervous about doing something new even if it's something I want to do) but Brian and I talked about it and decided that if we were going to do it then we needed to have the mind-set that the road trip part of it was part of the fun, we were going to take our time and see part of the country that we'd never seen before, and it was so great.

Well it was so great starting after we met my parents and handed the kids over that is; can you hear it? The sound of silence?  Some good friends of ours leant us their GPS and man was that thing amazing! As soon as the kids were handed over we did the "avoid toll roads" function partly because we forgot to get cash but it worked out wonderful because we got to see the part of the country we wanted to; little towns, divy restaurants, and country side.  It did make the trip a little longer (though not much) and since the "road" part of the trip was going to be the longest part we decided it was well worth it.

I've never been to New York state before so it was pretty exciting when we stayed there the first night.  We stayed in Geneva Falls (ironically there are no water falls there so that was disappointing) Brian went on line and found a motel (you read that right-- motel) with really good user reviews so we thought "hey why not we're on an adventure after all, and it only cost $50"!  Surprisingly it was very nice I mean it was a little outdated but it was a family place, very clean and the beds were almost the most comfortable we slept in the entire trip.  The people who ran it were so friendly and helpful.  We then headed over to the Pier House for dinner.  Geneva Falls may not have any falls but they do have this really huge beautiful lake and the Pier House is right on the water, we ate out on the patio which was perfect after being in the car all day and then we took the walking path and went for a light stroll. The Pier House food wasn't amazing but it wasn't bad either and the prices seemed fair for a tourist type town but the view was wonderful totally worth it.

The View from the Pier House and the Walking Paths (I just love gnarly old trees) and seriously marry a hunky guy like mine if you can.

Day two of our trip found us some where in beautiful New York very hungry and having to pee very badly.  GPS can tell you where restaurants are in the area which is cool but in this area there wasn't much.  Finally we stopped at a winery but they only had wine and I really had to pee (but I feel like it's poor manner to use some ones facilities if your not going to be spending a little money there) plus I'm not sure how tipsy I would be if I wine tasted on an empty stomach so I used their bathroom and bought a jar of blueberry jelly from them.  It turned out fantastic though because we asked the lady behind the desk where they would suggest we go to eat and she sent us to a place just up the road that only locals would ever be able to find and it was soooo yummy.  Meps BBQ in Cannan NY serves up totally delicious greasy food and you have to eat it out side on picnic tables.  The fries were hand cut Brian's bbq was very yummy and I had a sausage and peppers thing like at the fair.  But if you thought the view at the last place was great the view here was just as amazing and again it was so great to eat outside after being in the car (why does eating outside always make food seem so much yummier?)

this is the food and view from Meps.

We made it to Main that evening and stayed in another motel.  This was an Americas Best Value, and it was really cheep very clean and roomy but the beds were super hard.  Not a bad place to stay when your just passing through and the owners were very nice and gave us the AAA discount even though I'm not really sure what AAA does and we certainly don't belong to it.  We stayed in Scarborough  just outside of Portland and had dinner at Ruby's Genuine Brick Oven in York.  It was very good was sort of what you would expect from a New England pub and the home made pizzas were delightful.  We had breakfast at the Scarborough Grounds.  The coffee was a little strong for me but the cinnamon roll was freshly baked and very good I wish that the annoying teen aged employees hadn't been chatting it up with their equally annoying boy friends but the place was very nice.  One of the reasons we stopped in Scarborough was so we could visit one of the only Christian church/Chruch of Christ in the state.  East Point Christian Church  (www.eastpointchristianchurch.com) is not very old and already quite large and growing fast.  Brian loves to visit churches but it makes me nervous I'm a little too shy and don't like not knowing what to expect but it turned out to be a great and strange experience.  Even though they're growing they meet in a ware house/ barn type thing.  The service was done very well but not "showy" honestly the people there seemed so down to earth and like they all knew how to work hard.  I guess it's true what they say about Mainers they're extremely practical.  One of the reasons I may have felt right at home however was because of the minister and his wife and the associate here comes one strange tale:

When the senior minister (Scott) found out we were from Ohio he called over to his wife who was also from Ohio we chatted for a while when she asked where we lived now we told her Battle Creek she then called over to the associate (his name may have been Larry) who told us he grew up in Battle Creek and his parents still lived there!! That was a shock then Scott came back over and told us he was from Buchanan Michigan.  Well Buchanan Michigan is where Brian did his first internship while in college under a man by the name of Lowell Kosak who's first youth ministry job was at Central Christian Church here in Battle Creek (where Brian is currently the youth minister) but on top of that our Senior minister, Gordon Pippin, used to be the youth minister at Buchanan MI years ago and Scott was one of his students!! I don't know if you followed all of that but it totally blew my mind.  They were so friendly and I'm sorry to say I can't remember Scott's wife's name but she gave us directions to this place called Kittery point which is a really cool state park where we I saw that part of the Atlantic ocean for the first time and some really cool ruins.  She also gave us her and her husbands cell numbers so we could call them if any thing happened while we were in Maine and offered to let us stay with them on our way home (we ended up going home a different way) and I just thought that was so nice and way above and beyond what they needed to do.  Any way they were all a real blessing to both of us!  Funny how the family of God connects us even when we're far from home.

My handsome husband looking so introspective on Sunday morning.

I was so excited to see the atlantic ocean I kept pointing and saying all puffed up "Across this water... England!" Later while looking at a globe I noticed France is actually more straight across which is weird to me because isn't part of France really warm?

After a couple of hours looking at the ruins and watching dogs play fetch in the water we started the last leg of our journey to Deer Isle Maine where we were going to be staying at the Pilgrims Inn.  On our way we passed some amazing country side.  I don't even know where we were but we were in the middle of no where in the mountains when all of a sudden we were driving around this HUGE lake surrounded by forrest it was so breath taking I could practically feel God's fingerprints all over the place. The Inn was beautiful but I had spent hours on line looking at rooms all over Maine to find the right one and when we got there they had "upgraded" us.  The room was bigger but it was not the ascetic I was going for.  I should have said something and I will next time but I'm just weird that way I totally chicken out.  However, the staff there was super nice and helpful, every day they gave us ideas of places to go, where to eat, what paths to hike on they were wonderful.  The Inn was situated between the coast and a lake... so pretty.  And the breakfasts were very good and home made.  There is a restaurant in the Inn called The Whales Rib which we had a gift certificate for.  It was upscale pub type food and good.  I had haddock for the first time because Scott's wife had told me to try it and I don't like fish but I was feeling brave and you know it wasn't bad it had a very firm texture and a very mild taste, about half way through, though, I knew it was fish and had to stop.  I had bread pudding there that was very yummy.

the grounds at pilgrims inn

We hiked through the woods to the ocean one morning and the innkeeper had told us that if you wait for the tide to go down you can walk across to a little island there.  When we got to the water it was low but not gone so we sat on some rocks and talked and waited and there was still water.  So I suggested we take off our shoes and socks roll up our pant legs and wade across.  Brian declined but said he would video tape me (he was hoping I would fall).  Well I did it, even though I was nervous and not sure I did it because if I knew if I didn't I would regret it.  Oh it was cold!  The ocean in Maine in May is not warm.  But I kept it to myself and convinced my hubby to come along that was funny because he was very vocal about the water temperature and didn't roll up his pant legs far enough so they got wet.  We walked around the island climbed on rocks and when we were done the water was completely gone.  In the woods they had the funniest signs "Please leave rocks where they belong do not build gnome homes." is that a problem, gnome homes?  On our way home we stopped at Lily's Cafe and Wine Bar.  It was so cute totally my style.  Sandwiches and salads type place and amazing deserts.  The prices were a little high but you could eat on the roof at cute vintage tables and well that just made my day and was totally worth it.  FYI we each got a baked good to take home and they were amazing I have never had a better lemon bar in my entire life.

pictures from our hike.

The one thing I was convinced I had to do was eat some type of lobster something.  I didn't want to but I knew I had to in Maine where they go from ocean to plate same day.  So I kept seeing lobster rolls advertised and decided that would be what I would try.  We stopped at a place called Madelyn's Drive In.  An outdoor summer establishment that serves burgers and ice cream and of course lobster rolls.  Turns out a lobster roll is like chicken salad but with lobster on a toasted butter bun.  The buns out there are the shape of hot dog buns but are more like texas toast yummy!!  It was good tasting but the texture still got to me after a while.  This place was cool, wooden picnic tables a play area and trees.  It was so fun we came back later for ice cream.

Oh how I wish you could go to Maine!! It is the most beautiful place I have ever been (and I've been to Hawaii).  I'm very partial to forests and trees and the Great Lakes but Maine is like the Upper Peninsula on steroids!! The ocean was just so pretty and the forests there look just like they do here in Michigan but add to that all the old homes and amazing architecture!  Even the fishermen and regular people seemed to take such good care of there homes and lawns it was incredible.  Every restaurant and store we went to the people were friendly and talked to us.  Plus Deer Isle is considered one of the top artist places in the world so there was some really cool things to see and even though we were there a bit before tourist season began there were still cute little shops.  We stopped at an artist co-op where I saw the coolest hand made tea pot but since it was $90 I bought a matching hand made mug instead and use it to put fresh cut flowers from my garden in my bedroom.  Really this trip was so nice, just to get to eat a meal with out being interrupted would have made a great vacation but this was so much more.  To have all that time with my husband and no one else to be able to talk and chat but also be quiet with each other just to be in each other's presence was a blessing to my heart.  While we were on the trip I was reading a book and the main character says; it's one thing to be comfortable around some one but something else to be comfortable with their silence.  I feel like I have that with my husband laughter and tears but quiet too, I have a peace with him that I don't have with any one else and the beauty of Maine experiencing it together for the first time was so wonderful I can't put it into words.  

So apparently once warm weather hits it is impossible for me to actually get any blogging done.  I am too busy at the beach, on vacations, weeding the flower beds.  Things I am not too busy doing; laundry (well I just hate doing laundry), mopping the floors (what's the point they'll just get dirty again), cooking (it's too hot to turn on the stove or oven), scrubbing the toilet (am I the only person in this house that knows how to scrub a toilet?) and dusting (I only dust twice a year whether it needs it or not!).  I do have big plans to take you all on a picture journey to and through Maine but I'm not sure I have the time to do that before the kids wake up so today I thought I would just catch you up on the bazillion crafts I have finished this spring/summer.  Don't be too amazed the following pictures are covering several months although I do feel semi-productive in this area.

I made this tea pot shaped birthday cake covered in fondant flowers for my friend and neighbor's daughters first birthday.  I don't think Isla ate the entire thing but it felt good to finally make this cake I've had the recipe card for it since I first got married it came as a freebie in the mail.

This is a mini diaper bag that I made for my dear friend Beki.  It was made out of a decor weight children's fabric with vintage space ships and astronauts.  It has an attached changing pad that unfolds from the side.  The bag is designed for a quick trip to the store or coffee shop.  I filled it with post baby essentials such as gift cards for take out and lanolin.

Did I talk about this dress already?  Well it turned out fine took too much time and looks awful on me.  Before you begin your "Oh your probably just being picky" stop because it does but it looks really cute on one of my coffee club girls so I have a few minor alterations to make and it will be all hers.  I'm just relieved some one will be able to get use out of it makes it feel like it's not a waste .

This adorable little fly away jacket is made out of a super light super soft children's fabric covered in a three little pigs motif.  I made the trim myself and you can't really see the closure is a pewter pig I found at my local yarn shop.  I will make this jacket again it turned out so well and was so simple.  I am currently making a blue checked romper to go underneath and am almost finished with that.

This shirt I made for myself from the Book "Weekend Sewing" which has a huge variety of really nice projects.  I got the fabric for super cheap from Fields of Fabrics in Kalamazoo.  The cool thing about this fabric is that it's a linen blend and I love linen but it's really expensive; I got this for $3 a yard!!

Also I had just bought this camisole without any thing to wear it with and it matches perfectly.  I was very pleased with how the shirt turned out and while it's not perfect I was pretty happy with the sleeves especially.  The unfortunate thing with the shirt is that it has been way too warm to wear so it's waiting for autumn I suppose.  Also I think this pattern would make a great light weight summer shirt if made in a nice cotton fabric.

Remember the Eighty Granny Squares I made earlier this year?  Well this is what they turned into and I'm quite happy with the finished product and with the fact that I actually followed through and finished this baby blanket I've always had a knack for getting super excited about a project taking on way too much and not finishing (I'm sure this says something bad about me but in this case I finished and I'm so glad)  I even "blocked" the thing although I don't think it made much of a difference so I probably won't do that again.  The blanket was for my new nephew Eli and has tons of colors but the predominate ones are blues and greens because his nursery is oceany.  Also notice the crochet hook case, I made that to keep all my sewing things organized while traveling, I love the bird fabric and have used it in several different things.

Aprons; the Ties that Bind

Following is the manuscript of the message I gave at the mother daughter tea (more or Less).  It was a great event and I am so glad we finally did it.  I've been feeling the urge to organize something like this but have been a little too scared about the work involved well let me just say that so many people stepped in and helped and took over in areas that weren't my strengths that even the putting it on part was fun.  I had teen agers that designed and make invitations, and women that made the take home gifts and people that brought wonderful food it was great!!  Thank you to every one who helped especially Jean, Katie and Beki you guys are the best!!!!  I love our team and I think I would not have been able to do it with out you at least not with out crying (which I did not break down not even once!)

Beki, her sister Bethany and their mom Dian sang together four songs sort of interspersed through out the event.  Some of my girls did two skits, interspersed throughout and they all did a great job.  The music was wonderful and the skits were well acted and used no scripts!  I was dumb and forgot my camera so the only pics I have were some taken by my friend Megan from her phone, you don't really get a sense of how cute the place was; decorated with old aprons, handkerchiefs, and real vintage table clothes and tea pots.  The place was so cute!!

I am so glad that we were finally able to all get together and I mean that.  I love being with other Women especially other Christian women because I feel like that is one of the places I gather a lot of strength.  Most of you know who I am and many of you know me even better then that but I'm guessing there is a lot about me that most of you don't know.  I'm guessing that's true of most of us and I feel like that's a real shame. 

I want to share with you today a passion that is on my heart for ministry between women.  Old women to young women to teens to girls Titus 2:3-4 says, 3Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children.  I think what Paul is getting at here is they can train the younger women about life.  I believe whole heartedly that we are missing something so special, missing something that God has put in our hearts and that is the need for women to have fellowship with other women.  Now I have nothing against men in fact there's three that I like A LOT but even my husband who knows me better then any one on earth can not take the place of the need I have to have friendships with other women.  

I don't want to just tell you why I think this is so important I want to show you why and in order to do that I am going to allow you all to get to know me a little better.  I grew up in a loving Christian home surrounded by women.  I am the oldest of three girls, my mom is a strong women, and I have eleven girl cousins (I have a lot of boy cousins too but this is about women) I am very very close to My Grammy, my mom and aunt.   My dad was and is an amazing daddy and most of the people in my family love the Lord but despite all this I began struggling with my faith from a very early age.  I can be a little irrational so you'll have to really try and follow this logic; I was afraid that I didn't believe in God but that he was real there for I would go to Hell.  Now I was young when I first started having these fears younger then eight and for a long time the only thing that gave me peace and hope were the stories of faith and healing that my Mom and Grandma shared with me.  You see when we're young our parent's faith is our faith but if you aren't sharing your spiritual heritage with your children then they are missing something very special and very important Deuteronomy 11:18-19 says 18 Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 19 Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Proverbs 22:6 says 6 Train [a] a child in the way he should go,  and when he is old he will not turn from it.

If you don't have a spiritual heritage, or rather one your proud of, then it's up to you to begin this for your children and not only that but here we are all sisters the history of this of the church of fellow women in Christ is your heritage as well, history is important it's where we learn from other's mistakes so we don't have to make the same ones, it's were we remember the greatness of the Lord and His past deeds, it's where we begin to learn what is important.  Let's not loose ours because we're too busy to teach it to those coming after us or because we're too busy to listen.

We moved around a lot while I was growing up and it was hard, but now when I look back I can see God moving me down a path and protecting me every single step of the way.  While other teen age girls struggled with having good friends and peer pressure I always knew who I was, no matter where I was God provided me with good friends and with Christian friends.  Even while my parents floated from one church to another I was always in a strong vibrant youth group that was feeding my soul and building relationships.  The most important thing that I learned from moving so much was that home has nothing to do with your zip code and every thing to do with love.  I peter 2:11 1Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul.  I have a better understanding of that now because I never had time to put down real deep roots in one town but I learned that people every where love the Lord and where love is home is.  

Then I went to college, and not just any college but a small amazing Christian college where student's all around me were studying for the ministry and learning about God and in that place sitting on a bench missing my momma so much I realized that I had lost my faith.  I was ashamed, scared to death and way to shy and lonely to talk to any one about it.  I mean here I am going to bible classes and studying for exams in the life of christ and I wasn't sure who Christ even was.  It was a very dark moment in my life because I had enough sense to know with out God life was pretty much meaningless and even if this life was the best it could ever be it would end some day and then what?  So I studied, I went to class, I slowly began to make friends and you know what happened Christ found me Isn't it great that Christ goes looking for us? Luke says 4"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?   This time my faith was stronger then I had ever experienced because it was no longer the faith of my parents but my faith.  We all have to transition from our parents beliefs to our own and this is often a messy journey that is longer for some then others but the more people we have around us praying and teaching and listening to our fears and doubts the easier the transition will be but we have to be available and we have to be honest.  I was afraid to talk to other Christians about what was going on, luckily I was at a school where I was learning so much about God and the Bible that it became obvious to me that he was real, but what about those of us who don't go to a Christian college or seminary?  We have to let our young-in-the-faith people know that the Church is a real place with real struggles full of real people who care.  We have to be ok with the fact that sometimes people are going to stumble and struggle with their faith, we have to be willing to teach them the scriptures so that they have that assurance and that heavenly armor that will protect them from the attacks of satan.  That means we need to be constantly growing in our faith as well and sharing our faith and heritage with them. if we want our young people to come back to the Lord we have to be a people they want to come back too.

The other big thing that happened to me in college was I meat a boy.  Not just any boy but a really cute boy with earrings.  (The earrings were an added bonus my way of rebelling with out actually rebelling) and after some ups and downs in our blossoming relationship I fell in love.  Now this seems like a pretty cute story but there was a problem he wanted to be a minister and the last thing I wanted to be was a pastor's wife.  I loved the Lord but the not the Church.  I didn't want to be like the other minister's families I knew.  They seemed over worked unhappy, they never spent time with their wives and their kids were out of control.  How sad is it that the ministry and the beautiful church had destroyed these families?  Even though I was young I was wise enough to know that I could not expect this man to leave God's calling for his life for me that would only lead to bitterness so I had a choice marry Brian and accept his call as mine or part ways.  I think you can all guess what I chose and I am so glad that I did.  I do see a shift in ministry and the way people view their pastors for the good, they are people just like you and while I love the Church she is not the same thing is God.  In my heart in order of importance it goes: God, Brian and the boys, then the church and it would be a good thing if we could all accept that and order our lives that way.  And hopefully by following God's leading we will be able to raise two strong Christian men with your help. But back to when we were first married isn't it funny how God knows us so much better then ourselves?  I didn't want to be a minister's wife but I accepted it as long as we didn't end up in youth ministry because the thing that I really didn't want to do more then anything was work with youth... By the time we left Columbia, a teeny tiny church, I was 100% in love with the church 110% in love with youth and 120% in love with teen girls.  You see God knew where my passion was even before I did, it was like he took my hand and said "trust me Jessie, I know you want to be a therapist and a published author but you are going to love this even more." and when I took his hand and trusted him bam!! I was filled with a joy that I can not describe to you and a burning passion for teen girls that has been changing into a passion for women of all ages. 

So why is fellowship and ministry between women so important?  What does my story have to do with any of that?  I was and am a strange person, I didn't get in trouble when I was in high school, I didn't drink, I got good grades, I never lied to my parents so when I saw that we were going to be working with youth I thought, "great here comes all the drama, and selfishness, youth are lazy, and they make terrible decisions." after I got to know teen age girls I learned that this really wasn't the case at all.  I mean yes some teens are lazy but I know a lot of lazy thirty year olds, and a lot of selfish forty year olds.  As I began spending more and more time with girls I was shocked to discover how neat they were.  How God had designed them so beautiful and curious how intelligent they are and what spiritual depth they are capable of.  There is a ton of pressure on girls today, used to be they were expected to grow up get married and be mothers (worthy aspparations) but now they are expected to grow up get married be mothers but along the way get top grades in all subjects be good at sports still maintain all their femininity, go to college and work full time jobs and to do it all organicly!  That is a lot of pressure and I'm not saying any of those things are bad but I am saying we need to make sure we are teaching them what is really important Matthew 16 26 says What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? Are we Giving them permission to be who God designed them to be not what the world wants them to be.  Some of them will go on to be ceos and doctors and teachers but some will be called to stay at home with children, while others work in missions we need to be interested in what God wants for their lives not what the world wants.  We have this idea that teens are only interested in the newest brightest thing.  That they want what is hip, and technologically advanced.  Maybe we think what do I have to offer these girls?  Well let me tell you that all of this stuff is not what girls are looking for!  If it was I would not be connecting at all, I am not hip I know only slightly more about computers then my Grandma and am terrible at wearing make up and picking out clothes.  I don't care for chick flicks, I love sci-fi, and the fifties.  Sometimes I dress up in my pearls just to make cookies Mrs. Cleaver style, because that's how I roll.  If I pretended to be some one I wasn't the girls would see right through me instead I come to them just as God called me; a quirky talky person that more then occassionaly yells at her kids.  They're not looking for cool their looking for genuine, aren't we all looking for genuine?  The reason that face book and the internet are so huge isn't because people are looking for a way to stay disconnected it's because we're looking for a way to connect.  So many people are coming from broken homes now that I really believe we're looking for family, it's our job to show the girls and all the women that surround us that we are their family, that church is our family.   No matter how awesome the internet becomes and no matter how many hand hold devices we have Jesus Christ and fellowship with other Christians is the only thing that is going to fill that void.  We need each other and each other's support.

Listen if your listening to this and thinking "yea right the church has messed up and done this or that to me..." well I'm really sorry but it's time to get over it.  I don't want to minimize any pain you may have encountered because of fellow Christians but the Church is full of broken hurting people who often loose sight of God and get caught up in different forms of selfishness.  I ask you openly in what family does that not happen?  There is a Jars of clay song that goes "Lay your weapons down, Lay your weapons down there are no enemies in front of you."  As long as the church has people it will do dumb things but we are not enemies we are family.  We need to come to it with lots of grace seeking the Lord and making darn sure we aren't the ones doing the hurting.  Instead of constantly focusing on The bride of Christ's flaws lets begin to focus on her beauty.  Church is not this building and it is not Sunday morning it is all of us together.  That's what is so awesome about the way God designed us.  He designed us to need other people to need other Christians.  So let's be there for each other.  There are women here who need some one to talk to with out the fear of her issue making it's rounds on the gossip chain "I'm just telling you this so you can pray about so and so..." let's not be that person ok.  Instead let's be a place where a person who is in pain can come and seek out comfort and help and we can be sensitive to their needs. Every one looks so beautiful and happy out there but I know their is pain because I've been there.  After Hunter was born I had a lot of post partum depression.  My family had moved we had moved and here I was in the middle of winter with a baby and all I could do was cry.  I felt horrible and guilty I'm a Christian mom who quit working to stay home with her new little family and I was miserable.  I would come to church and smile and laugh and nod my head when people said things like "enjoy it they grow so fast." but I wasn't enjoying it, all I really wanted was eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.  Now part of it was hormones, and part of it was being stuck inside in the winter but a huge part of it was being totally isolated, not having other people to talk to about it.  My depression lifted when I started getting to know other women right here in the church.  I look out and see women who saved me, I see women who God brought into my life to fill the void left by my mom and sisters leaving and not just women who stepped in for me but for my children as well. Prov says

2710 Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, 

       and do not go to your brother's house when disaster strikes you— 

       better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.

and 18 There is a friend that is closer than a brother

A couple of generations ago a lot more women stayed home and people weren't as busy (at least thats how it seems) kids weren't involved in every single sport ever invented.  We had women groups in the church in charge of organizing and taking care of peoples needs, we spent real time together in each other's homes and with each other's children.  We're so busy now that seems impossible but we need each other more then ever.  It's time for us to reconnect as women to embrace what makes us unique and to begin opening up to those around us.  Let's share our stories of faith, our struggles our joys.  Let's be real with each other with the younger people coming behind us so they learn that faith is a journey and sometimes a struggle but always worth it.   Let's open our arms and invite each other in, "They will know we are christians by our love" well let's tie on some aprons and get to the work of love.

If I don't take the kids outside this happens;

"Why oh why did you have children?" he asked with his eyes.

"Seriously you leave for two minutes and this happens! Thanks a lot lady."

so out we go to play in the sun and the water and how how I LOVE this time of year.  Warm but not too hot full of kids laughing and running.  Then I noticed that the pool had a leak and the only think I could think of were these Diago bandaids which worked surprisingly well.  Then the sprinkler got a hole and Brian found some duck tape and I thought "oh yea duck tape!!" We may have to invest in some new water stuff or more duck tape.

Brave kids who slide down the slide into the sprinkler.

cute babies that really just want to shove the camera into their mouths.

cute wet kids who play hard and then nap even harder!! Swimming weather truly is the best!

But My very favorite thing about summer... curly heads!!!