Today is a Grumpy Day.

Honestly it doesn't feel all bad, I've gotten quite a lot accomplished but the children are bit on the whiny side and boy does that wear a person down. It got me thinking about how parenting is hard. It's not like hard in the way that I worry it will be (and hope it never will) you know kids walking down the wrong path or getting seriously injured or sick? That's a kind of hard I am so grateful God has sheltered me from. I'm talking the daily grind kind of hard. The kind of hard where you honestly just want to eat your lunch locked in the bedroom so you can get five minutes to yourself with out having to get up and grab something. Seriously kids you get to eat why don't I? Which brings me to my other question: if I never sit down and never eat why aren't I stick thin?

It got me thinking about past me. If past me had known the actual details of my present daily life. Had known the kind of hard I'm talking about I think she would have opted out of motherhood completely. Please understand I'm not saying I wish I had opted out. What I'm saying is knowing past me the way I do and knowing the struggles she dealt with if she had known about the late nights, the daily grind, the never ever ever getting to take a shower or go to the bathroom by herself, she would have chosen not to have children. That scares me a little to think how close I came to not being a mom. I am so thankful that past me did not know all of the tiring little details of being a parent. She was scared enough as it was and she would have let her fear and her poor self-esteem frighten her out of having kids. You see becoming a mother has brought out the best and worst in me. It's strange that you can be so good and so bad. Sometimes I dream about having the house to myself. My kids make me mad. Seriously I had no idea what kind of temper I had until I had kids. Perfect moms do not yell at their children, they are firm but always loving and never ever loose their tempers. I totally loose my temper. I really hope that my kids don't need therapy as adults because of it. How can a three year old be so maddening?

Thank goodness I didn't know about my temper before I had kids. I would have decided I wasn't mother material, that I wasn't patient enough, or loving enough, or good enough to be a mom. I would have been right I'm totally NOT good enough. However, with God's continual strength, mercy and forgiveness (oh baby, how my kids make me need his forgiveness) I think I'll do. I am so glad I am a mom even though it completely sucks sometimes (it really does sorry) because sometimes it is completely awesome! Sometimes when my three year old says "Mom I luf you." it makes everything else melt away (even if in the next breath he fake burps in my face). When my six year old compliments my dress and says "Nice heels!" I am so humbled and grateful that I am a mom and so very very relieved that the past me didn't know what present me knows.

I think we tend to completely focus on the good or bad of parenthood. We become grandparents and all we remember is the roses. You know what ladies I am never going to miss having to take half a shower because my son has to poop, I'm just not going to miss that. However, I'm pretty sure I am going to miss the fact that he always wants to be in my lap (even though sometimes I want a little space). Oh parenthood you are a bizarre and strange mistress!

Brian and I fight over who HAS to sit by Conster because
when you sit in a booth with him he sits pressed up against you gooey fingers
and all. I'm pretty sure that IS one of the things I'll miss someday.

If you want more stuff on real parenting you should check out the crappy parenting blog. It's hilarious and funny and occasionally a bit irreverent. She has no idea who I am and is way cooler them me this is not an advertisement I just wanted to share her awesome blog.

p.s. Don't forget to comment on the previous post for a chance to be entered in the giveaway and if you go and "like" Amelia Rhodes face book page I'll enter your name a second time!

peanut butter sandwiches

Thank you friends and family who read this blog, who listen to me blather on and on.  I hope you know how much your comments mean to me!!

All right now, most of you are either parents or soon going to be parents and I have a question for you.  Do you have a mission statement for your parenting?  Before your head explodes let me say I do not... have never even thought about it at least not in those terms, but I'm taking a parenting Sunday school class and this is one of our over all assignments; to come up with a parenting mission statement.  It sounds so incredibly intimidating doesn't it?  I mean I spend most of my day running from one fire to another, making peanut butter sandwiches and changing diapers, I'm not sure I have the energy or time to come up with something like a mission statement.  And what if I do?  I then have something written down that I'm suppose to accomplish on top of the peanut butter sandwiches and what if I can't manage it all?

But then maybe I'm thinking about it wrong, maybe it doesn't have to be something huge or grand.  I mean I obviously want to raise healthy children who can function and contribute in society.  I want them to walk away from my home with a strong faith that is their own not mine.  And I want Brian and my house to be a place they always look forward to coming back to.  Maybe it would be good to write down exactly what Brian and I want to accomplish as parents maybe it will give us direction as we go along, maybe peanut butter sandwiches aren't enough.  It's scary though, I mean children aren't puzzles (as long as you put all the right pieces together it turns out) eventually they make their own decisions and think their own things, there is so much that is not in our control it almost seems like putting down what I hope to accomplish is just setting us up for failure.  Yet I know this is cowardly because I see parents living like this all the time, in the big and small things and it drives me nuts.  They don't encourage their kids not to have sex before marriage because "they're just going to do it anyway" (which isn't always true I know for a fact) they let their small children go to bed when ever they want even if it's eleven p.m. because they don't want to fight, they let their kids eat sugar all day because they just don't want to have rules or be the bad guy or listen to whining, they give up on grades etc...If you have expectations for your children they may not live up to them they may disappoint you and they most certainly will make mistakes BUT if you don't have any expectations at all then they will live up to that and you will have only yourself to blame.

All that being said I want to reach out to you all and ask; what is it that you hope to come from your short time as a parent?  What did you hope for your children while they were growing up and what were and are your dreams for your family?  If your children are grown what are some pitfalls the rest of us can avoid?  Thank you for being part of this awesome, huge, and scary adventure known as being a mom and dad.