Saturday, June 2, 2007

I Am Not Pregnant!

In my pre-pregnancy life my body was very very regular. I mean I started my period the day I turned twelve and never missed a month, never came a day late or a day early so you can see how if I missed one completely I would know somethings up. About a month and a half ago I became fertile again. Well at that time I was still nursing, but soon after Hunter weened himself so now I can go back on the pill. When you start birth control you're suppose to take it the sunday after you start your period. So we go on vacation I can't start the pill yet and well we never did find a form of birth control that worked for us and you can't be completely relaxed on vacation with out a little lovin.

So now it's been well past a month since my last period and I'm thinking "holy crap I can't believe I'm pregnant!!" how ironic, unfair, scary. I was in shock and just freaking out there were so many reasons why this was bad but then I made myself sit down and think of some things that could be good about it. I would get all the baby stuff over at once, I mean it would be nice to get everything done with at once the night feedings the diapers the clutter, it would be nice to be able to purge everything at once, to know that they're ready for new things and trips and experiences at once. Heck we're already tired lets just keep it going for another year or so. There would be no waiting for the younger one to be "old enough". I've already started changing into a healthier life style so I would get done with the pregnancy already programed to loose the weight. I wouldn't have that "I lost all this weight and now I want another baby" dilemma.

And of course it would solve Brian and I's problem of never wanting to make a big decision. "Should we have another baby or not?" there you go decision made. Brian could get a vasectomy and we never have to worry about birth control again.

So I buy a test nervously take it, and wait. The last time I took a test (for Hunter) it came back in an instant. So imagine my surprise when nothing happens. I think weird I'm 99.9% sure I'm pregnant but we'll see it come up in three minutes. And nothing just a big negative sign.

It took me by such surprise and I've been living the last week "knowing" I was pregnant that my first response was disappointment. Then utter relief and peace washed over me. To celebrate we had brownie sundaes for dinner.