Tuesday, April 6, 2010

So I got my hair done today and I don't think I like it.  You should know that whenever I get my hair or make up done I don't think I like it.  I have this problem where I don't like the way I look but I don't like it when I look different; in fact it really stresses me out makes me wonder "is this me?" "am I posing?" and when the hair dresser asks me if I like it all happy and expectant I can NEVER tell the truth I always smile an squeak "Oh it looks great I'm really happy."

The real problem is that I'm not very stylish.  I don't know why because I love fashion, I love to look at patterns pick out material and sew, I think my house is decorated very nicely but when it comes to me it all just falls flat.  I own very little make up and don't wear it when I'm at home at all (I don't even own an eye liner pencil although I have considered getting one) my hair blah, my body blah (this is my own fault and I am working on it) my own clothes worn out and blah blah blah.  I just can't seem to get it together weird thing is I don't remember having this problem in high school and even college it's like I had kids and bam worn out frumpy mom syndrome hit me hard.  Maybe it's partly because during those times my mom was by my side helping me to shop and choose and I was constantly surrounded by girlfriends.  Also I'm older not as in shape and don't have the time or spending money like I used to but still seems like I could do something more.  My wonderful husband thinks I'm cute and doesn't mind but I do-- I mind.

So what do I do?  I'm working on sewing a new dress although today instead of sewing I made cookies, and dinner rolls and folded clothes (I find sewing for myself to be way less fun then for kids and little girls and am very good at procrastinating) this weekend I'm hoping to pick up a few new things like bras, shoes and maybe shirts but I'm not sure it's really going to make a difference especially with this weird new do I'm sporting.

I'll tell you one thing for sure, when I get that big publishing deal and have to have jacket cover photos taken and go on that book tour I am going to have to have a stylist; someone that doesn't dress me like them or the hippest thing but dresses me like the best version of myself.


Jessie said...

in case any one is interested the little girl I watch during the week picked out all her own clothes and head bands and she looked so cute!! she's four and has better tastes in picking out a clothing ensemble than I do!

christinar269 said...

I think its because we, as a mom, wife, housekeeper, launderer, sweeper, cleaner, bed maker, snotty nose wiper, etc, etc, by the time the list finally gets to us, we just choose to just throw something on and roll with it. I totally understand how you feel. I am on the same train as you. I have been struggling with it for a while, and decided to give it to God. I would rather have a great marriage, happy, healthy kids then to stress myself out about what my house looks like or what I look like. God made us unique and I am trying to find his humor when I get ready in the mornings. =D I love your blog by the way. I will be looking for your headshot on that book when it comes out!

fullertribe said...

I'm going to be in Battle Creek this Saturday. Would LOVE to shop with you if you need a shopping partner! No matter what you wear or how you present yourself, you are always beautiful...Because that is how God made you.

Courters said...

First of all you are NOT a frumpy mom!!! You have cute clothes. Just think of all those moms that are forever in sweat pants and always have their hair in a pony tail. That's not you! Your hair always looks nice and unlike me you don't need make up as much with that creamy complection of yours. I understand though how we are our own worst critic.
But seriously jess there are frumpy moms and your not one of them.

Anonymous said...

I am loving my hair now that it unpoofed and I'm used to it.