One Time I lost a Cross Country Race.

Truth be told I only ever came in last once (though I was close many times) and, this is not that story. This is a story of a time I lost a cross country race to my slightly younger sister. For a brief period of time we were both in Cross Country at the same time. I loved it, she hated it (well I think she hated it I'm not entirely sure but since she didn't sign up again the following year I'm assuming she hated it). I worked really hard and she was faster then me. Whatever, no big deal.

photo courtesy of photosbygoad.com 

Except, this one race when for some reason we were actually running really closely to each other. There was a very well-meaning woman cheering from the sidelines and she was saying to me "GO GO! DON'T LET YOUR YOUNGER SISTER BEAT YOU!!!" Then to my sister she was saying "GO ON YOU CAN DO IT! CATCH YOU SISTER!" Really?! Lady we can both hear what your saying! It irritated me. Not because I didn't want my sister to beat me, it irritated me that she thought that turning us against each other would actually work in making us better. Honestly, I think it slowed me down. Courtney caught me and, if memory serves, I think I puffed out "good job...keep...up...kick...it...in..." then nearly died.

I'm proud that I said those things but what I wish I had done was to drop back grab her hand and say "Come on let's finish this race together!" That actually sums up my only regret from High School. Not in that moment but in all the moments I could have said to her "Come on to this movie with me and my friends." or "Come on let's hang out." I wish I had said to her back in those days that "we should do life together". Instead, I was very territorial. I didn't want to share my friends, or clothes, or anything. My insecurities got the best of me and clouded my vision as to who God had placed right in my very home. Not saying we hated each other, we didn't. But, she would have benefited from being allowed a bigger place in my life and social circle. I would have benefited too.

We've moved on and are extremely close. I've apologized to her and our only regret now is that we're separated by so much distance. What an ironic twist of fate that I wish we could be together and we can't. It saddens me that so many grown women are still experiencing walls built between them and they're siblings. It saddens me to see sisters torn apart. It crushes my heart that women allow their insecurities and society to create such an atmosphere of competition between them and other women that they completely miss out on doing life together.

We allow our minds to be overtaken with thoughts on "who's thinner", "who's more successful", "who nursed their children", "who gave birth with no drugs..." God created women to need the companionship and love of other women. Not just of our own mother's and sisters but those of our sisters in christ too. Let's not allow satan to scream at us from the sidelines. His intentions are not to improve our race. We can't allow him to trick us into trying to prove we're better then each other. Instead let's embrace each other. Let's grab hands in front of his shocked eyes and run to the finish line as one.

How a Weekend Can Save Your Brain.

Okay so you know how I flew to MD last minute? Well, I flew to MD last minute! This might not dazzle your mind or anything but I just don't do things like that. For one it seems like you have to have a lot of money to do that sort of thing. I still remember a friend from college telling me that her family just decided to fly to Disney World for a long weekend. That totally blew my mind because when we plan trips to Disney World they're like two or more years in the making. Any way so that seems like a rich person, or emergency thing to do. Second I'm sort of a planned out, routine kind of person, and I have kids. I mean everything with kids takes planning, and so many suitcases.

This is my cuter then cute nephew. He doesn't care
for me or any one that is not my mom.

So I was talking to my mom and sister on the phone and that evening I had a plane ticket and was busily working on an overnight bag so I wouldn't have to check any bags. Crazy! It was so much fun doing something like that.  Flying with out children is amazing. The only thing I wish that I'd done differently was taking my computer with me so I could blog on the plane. It's so easy to take off one pair of shoes and get zapped by the naked picture thing when it's just me (by the way does that thing make anyone else feel like they have to wear matching underwear through security?). Making my way to the plane, going to the bathroom before we boarded and flying was so easy with just me!

It was only two full days but it was so rejuvenating. My mom and sisters and I went to this thing called "Repurposed and Refined" it's sort of like a once-a-month thing where people come with vintage and antique items that have been refurbished and it's set up so pretty and cute. They had cookies and coffee and the prices were really good. I got several pictures of flora and birds for when i re-do my room (wait until I tell you about that).

The thing she's holding says "sweet sisters"

Repurposed and Refined.

We ate at cute sandwich shops, and went junking (where I tried on some diamond rings what fun!). And of course had a dress up dinner at a nice Thai place for my youngest sisters 25th birthday (we're really really all close in age). We came home opened presents, gorged ourselves on brownies and ice cream (soy for her and me). It was fabulous!!!

I love my children so much. They bless my heart daily but having a couple days to myself, to sleep in and not be woken up once or twice in the night, was heavenly. It was so refreshing and when I came home I was so much more calm and patient then I had been when I left. I think it's okay to admit that we need a break now and then. I think it's okay that we be reminded that we're more then just moms. Oh what a blessing that my husband watched them all alone for the weekend. What a blessing that I have sisters and parents that I want to spend time with. What a blessing two full days can be.

Somehow I got a ton of pics of
Heather and hardly any of Courtney.
That's a shame as Court has a baby bump.

That dress is vintage and fits her amazing!
How annoying.

Siblings

1-18-07
Before I get to the real point of my entry today I would like to vent about the sleeping habits, or lack there of for my almost four month old. Ever since he was brand new he would sleep 3-4 hours at a stretch during the night and sometimes if we were really lucky five. As annoying as getting up to anything less then eight is to someone like me it was dooable. Now all of a sudden he's decided he can only go two hours without waking up. Now before you start giving me your expert advice let me just say, I let him cry during the day and make sure he has time on the floor to stretch his limbs. He stays awake most of the evening and also gets a bath before bed. During the day he'll go 2.5-3 hours between feedings and sometimes his afternoon nap will even be 3-4 hours long. He goes down at night easy as pie... for two hours when he decides he's starving but will only eat four ounces leaving him starving again in a couple of hours. I'm not sure if he doesn't like the formula or he's just being extremely difficult, but I don't know how much more I can take. He's suppose to be sleeping longer not less, and babies on formula supposedly can go longer!!

Now the real point of my entry today is about siblings. Today is my youngest sister's birthday, she's twenty which my husband likes to point out means that when she's my age I'll be thirty. I pointed out that I could make his life miserable and beat the crap out of him. Brian and I can't imagine having another child what with all the crying and eating it seems near impossible, and right now Brian's saying he really just wants one kid. I think that means he's in the midst of baby and can't imagine more then one but I'm in no hurry to have another one right now any way so we'll just see.

It's easy to imagine my life with one child, I love him so much. I can see how it would be easier to devote my self to his growth and development. It's kind of fun to think of my family like the three muskateers, a little triangle full of love and fun, but then I think about my sister (and those boxes of girl clothes I have in the basement) and I wonder if that's what I want for him. My sisters are great and I'm not just saying that because it's Heather's birthday I really mean it. We had our fights when we were growing up (although not as much as some) but now that we're older they're my friends. We have a lot of fun together and if we could just live close together it would be awesome. Siblings teach you so many things about life starting with sharing and on down to devotion and protection and love.

I loved being the oldest getting to watch my sisters grow and become mature adults was so cool. Walking Heather to school when she was little with her little mittened hand in my pocket will always be one of my best memories. Remembering staying up late with Courtney talking about boys and laughing until Dad came in all eyebrows will always make me smile. Christmas wouldn't have been as great as it was if I didn't have two people to stay up with late so excited we couldn't sleep, and just as excited about my presents as I was.

When we moved to Coldwater we weren't living in our house yet (it was being remodeled) but we put a tree up anyway and the three of us slept on the floor in Courtney's future room, with the big ugly yellow flowers on the wall and that wierd empty house smell. It was great! Now that would not have been totally awesome if they weren't there.

I think siblings are important, I know mine are. They're not only great sisters there great Aunts. If I had been an only child my life would have been a lot more dull but what about Hunter he would be missing out on so much; noisy and messy toys (the kind no parent in their right mind would buy for their own child) sleep overs with his cousins, movies and late night snacks before they have children of their own and know better, and mostly love.

I thank God for my siblings, when I look back on our lives together my heart just swells. I want that for Hunter I just hope he's as blessed as I am.

P.S. Just because I think siblings are a good idea in no way means I'm pregnant or am planning on getting pregnant any time soon, so don't get your hopes up mom and Grammy. My body and my sanity needs rest.

P.S.S. Happy Birthday Heather, I wish I could be there with you to celebrate you bring so much joy to our lives!!!!