Thursday, May 10, 2012

The Festival of Faith And Writing.

I want to be a writer. Or maybe I am a writer? I get confused. I do write; I blog, obviously, I write bible study lesson plans, I write stories for the on-line publication BC Current (well I wrote two stories for them), and I am oh so slowly working on a novel. Kind of. I mean I am sort of working on it I just take super long breaks from working on it and fret about it. I fret about the novel a lot, it's sort of embarrassing. So I struggle with this: I do write, I love to write, but I don't want to be one of those "I'm-a-writer-who-doesn't-really-write-and-I'm-so-deep poser people." I'm not sure if those people are real but it's a real issue in my brain.
My friends Susie and Amelia. They both have book deals
and they match the painting behind them.

My Heather! Also I wore something
made-by-me every day.

I know one thing for sure. If I am a writer, or am going to be a writer (maybe I should say if I'm going to be a published-payed writer) I am going to have to work harder. I spend a lot of time putting it off (the laundry's not going to do itself people). But, that's not really the truth. I put it off because I'm a tad bit lazy and I'm a lot bit scared. It's the age old "scared to fail", "scared of rejection", "scared to try", problem.
At our Bed and Breakfast, Peaches.

So I decided to go be inspired and I took my sister Heather (a way talented writer btw) to the Festival of Faith in Writing, with the great expectation of being overwhelmed, confused, and discouraged. It was FABULOUS! So worth the money!!!!! As I was freaking out to my best friend about the trip (I get nervous when I don't know what to expect, I'm sort of a worst case scenario person) she said "What do you want to get out of this?" and I said "Well, I want to be inspired and mostly I just want to spend quality time with my sister." to which she responded "I think you can do that. You are a grown up, just do what you want." (This last comment was because I was freaking out that there was no lunch break). My Megan is so smart!

She's always dresses cute.
The Wisteria plant at this place blew our minds.
What happened was just what I wanted plus a lot. Heather and I never get to spend very much alone time together now that we're married blah blah blah. So to have three days of just talking was amazing! We stayed up too late, ate great food and were able to go on and on about our shared love of writing. We also heard some incredible speakers, founds great books, were inspired, saw a family of ducks and a baby squirrel (squeeee). We were lost a lot, saw old friends (we've known them for a long time they're not old) met new people, and talked to an agent (a real life agent that was a human and seemed nice and owns dogs)!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was so great! Instead of seeing all those people and thinking "we can't all get published" I thought "Hey if they can do it then so can I!" and to have someone I love right beside me telling me I can do it made a big difference too. It brought up some good questions about where I'm headed (which has lead to "office hours" so I don't have excuses to keep putting it off). This festival isn't cheap (to me) but it's every other year and I think so totally worth it! I am going back and I'm dragging Heather along and in twenty years her and I will be there as speakers (okay maybe not but it's not out of the question).

So here's to working hard (or harder at least) and not giving up our dreams, and being brave!


fullertribe said...

We are so related and I can totally relate to your situation. I've done the same thing with my photography and I decided two weeks ago that I'm tired of being scared about it and that I'm going to do it. Two days after I made that decision I got a phone call to help a friend shoot an outdoor wedding in July. I'm so excited to see where it leads to but I'm also very excited to see where your path takes you.

Jessie said...

THanks Jammie. I"m excited for you too!

Susie Finkbeiner said...

I loved having you at the FFW!!! You are such sunshine in my life.

You can do it. And I declare right now that you ARE a writer! Don't question it. Claim it, dear Jessie!

Suzie's Blog said...

A woman in our church wrote a book called "legend of the mer" She started it in high school and got it published.. last year? Or the year before? I can't remember.. but you can find it on Amazon and even buy the ebook for only .99 She would love to talk to you about writing and inspire you some more!! Her name is Sheri Swift she is on facebook.