Four times a year there are five sundays in the month. For those of you that don't know my husband is a youth minister. We LOVE it! Love working with the students, love all the fun things we get to do, love love love love it. On those fifth sundays our church has youth sunday. Basically means Brian preaches and the students are as involved in the behind and in-front scenes as possible. I'm a little musical (played the trumpet since fifth grade which I'm sure you can guess come is sooooo handy) so I help organize and lead the worship.
Even though this happens only four times a year it still catches me by surprise. After every sunday I say "next time I will be way more organized. Next time I will plan this out a month in advance." And I'm still caught off guard. Every. Single. Time. My students are so amazing that it always pulls together and ends up being wonderful. I am very blessed.
This month was no different, in that I was not as organized as I would like and in that the students were wonderful. It was different in that Brian and I were dealing with a family emergency and I had just gotten back from the "Festival of Faith and Writing" (have I not blogged about that yet? Gasp, I must!) So I was extra spent, my tank was running on the proverbial empty.
Imagine my surprise when during our "dress rehearsal" saturday I found myself experiencing music in a totally new way. I've talked about magic before. How I can't put into words; what I feel inside, a pulsing power that I have no idea how to unleash. And I'm not sure how to talk about it now (with out sounding crazy any way) but this blog is about more then sewing, it's about my quirky, wacky, sometimes frustrating life. I want it to be true and real.
So here it is. While we were rehearsing the song "Better is One Day." I think my heart left my body and just sort of soared away. "Better is one day in your courts, better is one day in your house, then thousands elsewhere." I could feel the music filling me up from the inside until it started leaking out of my tear ducts. I felt it shoot out of my fingers and blast through my chest. I imagined that the song was making it's way out of the church, down Riverside Drive, out of the county and on it's way to all the hurting people I love so much. I imagined that the song drifted in through my in-laws windows. It was lavender and soft. I saw it wrap itself around my nephews and niece and comfort their hearts. I wanted it to wash over my mother-in-law and father-in-law and strengthen their spirits. I felt like the song had the magic to reach all the way to Ohio and beyond. Maybe it could whisper into the heart that needs to change. Maybe it could give them the courage to change their lives no matter how hard. Maybe it could show someone how to trust again. I do feel like we're connected in ways that have nothing to do with Facebook and Twitter. I felt like this was one of those ways.
I couldn't really even get through the song. I felt so exhausted and so tired but I also felt something else. I felt magic.
2 comments:
Sometimes we just don't know how God uses our praises and our yearnings for Him. I like to think that our earnest love for Him is evident to others, maybe in ways we don't see. Praying that your magical moments will touch the lives you were thinking about, Jessie!
That is so wonderful Jess. It sounds like the holy spirit moving. I have had those experiences when worshiping where you just feel something deep inside and you are moved beyond what you might normally feel. Our prayers are with you and B's family.
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