Conner is STILL my baby...

Despite the fact that his dad took him to get his hair cut.  No more baby curls no more angel hair!! I am not ashamed to tell you that I cried.

Let me back up a little I knew he was going, his dad did not do it on the sly (he's not that stupid well he's not stupid at all really) but I would not go, I would have nothing to do with the entire thing.  Now that fall is here and we're loosing a lot of the humidity in the air he was loosing his curls making his hair look long and it was in his face... still loosing that baby hair is way too hard!  He looks good and cute but now he looks like a little boy!!!

Here are some Before pictures taken the day before he got his hair cut.  We were at Gull meadow farms (you can read about our exploits there last year by clicking here apple orchard)

 

and here are some photos of him after he got his hair cut.  Well he thinks he's big and grown but I know better; he's still my tiny tiny baby!

 

Jogging...

I am a little on the chubby side, I love to bake, feed people and eat so it's very fortunate that I also like to exercise.  I am not saying that I'm athletic that is something different entirely (I am not athletic if you're wondering).  But for some reason I like to push myself and sweat and make my muscles tired and take hot showers after and experience that great feeling that you've done something good for yourself; follow that up with an oreo chaser and you've got yourself a perfect day.

I started running in Jr. High track, no one is cut from the track team so it was the logical choice for me.  Also my dad was the high school distant track coach and cross country coach so I thought maybe it was in my blood.  It was not, but it did help me loose a lot of "baby weight" which was really good for my self esteem.  I remember when I first started running in seventh grade I could not even make it a 1/4 mile, I still remember pushing myself to the corner thinking "you can do it" and how proud I was when I did indeed finish that 1/4 mile with out walking.  I had a very encouraging coach who cheered me on and never made me feel fat or slow (thank you Mr. Cornwell).  Well I just kept at it, jogging and running and doing the old jazz-ersize records my aunt gave me (I still can't hear "working at the car wash" with out strutting across the room knocking my elbows together). Until it became part of my life and made me feel good.

When I moved in high school I made the very big and brave decision to join the x-country team.  I knew I needed to meet people and I wanted to make my dad proud, but three miles was a long long way back then.  I told my dad I would only do it if he worked with me through the summer so that I could finish the race with out walking.  He coached me with gusto and was and is the biggest inspiration to me.  He was always proud and cheered no matter how far back in the pack I was.  I'm sure he would have loved a son who was placing first and second but he was perfectly content with a daughter that had 100% commitment and 0% talent.  FYI I never did walk in a single race though I'm sure my running pace was slower then a walk at times.

I never really stopped running and still consider myself a runner despite the fact that what I do now is really more of a jog intermixed with hard core walking.  And even though I've done every thing from Yoga, to Eliptical to Kick Boxing, when I'm in the market for new shoes I always buy running shoes.  Why you ask, because I'm a runner damn it and cross trainers are for wimps!

My favorite way to exercise is out side, that's why I prefer running and walking to the gym.  And I'll walk as long into the winter as possible pulling my old smelly dog along.  The coolest thing about exercising out side at the same time every day is that you'll discover an entire world you didn't know existed.  You'll start to see the same people along your route out there too.  Every one is so friendly in the mornings it's like your all bound together in some kind of cosmic morning work out ritual. A universe where you are important to each others well being, even though you don't know each other at all.  I find myself making up back stories about the people I pass every day; that woman used to weigh a lot in high school but got herself in shape and was one of the sexiest at her 20 year class reunion.  The old couple over there has been married for 45 years and when they were younger they traveled all over the world.  That guy there has always been a runner and used to place in all the high school meets etc.  Imagine my surprise some day if I actually sit down and have a more then a one minute talk with them and find out that he used to be large and she the long-time runner.

This is Gail and Sue.  They make me smile every morning and are what
I'm hoping Megan and I are like when we're their age.

This is Betty. Isn't she gorgeous I would kill for a body like hers.

Pam jogs on these bouncy things every day! She must have total buns of steal!

Seeing all these smiling faces and exchanging pleasantries always gets my day off to a positive start.  I find that having a floppy eared dog trotting along side you helps encourage people to open up.  They just can't resist giving you a good morning when you're doofy dog is running beside you with his tongue dragging on the pavement.

"There's no way I could run!" your thinking, but that's not true.  The hardest part of running is pacing yourself.  You can't go out and expect to run two miles at a break neck speed the first time out you've got to give yourself time to improve and get in shape. No one says you can't walk either I'm just encouraging you to get out in the mornings, meet new people and experience the exhilaration that comes from exercising first thing in the morning in the fresh air.  Some people like to listen to their MP3 player but I like the sound of the birds and the wind and the thumping of my feet against the pavement, it brings me to a place of clarity and contentment.

I guess I'm sharing this with you because I want my friends that I pass every morning, making comments to them about the weather etc., to know that they mean something to me.  For some reason your smiles and commitment encourage me.  And if you've thought about getting out there but just couldn't climb out from under your covers I encourage you to get out there and see what your missing.  Honestly the autumn trees are the most gorgeous with the early morning sun glowing behind them.

Chapter Two, the Art of Being Manly.

Being a man is wonderful.  You get to smoke pipes hang up your tools and astound your neighbors.  Your son will always adore you even when he becomes a famous baseball player.  As long as you remember to plan your workshop!

What if God Were One Of Us.

 

So my husband and I watch quite a lot of television.  Most people really frown on this sort of thing but we watch it together, discuss it, laugh over it and it fuels many of our inside jokes and asides.  It really is one of our hobbies and something we enjoy doing together.  I could go on and on about different series that we've loved and maybe some day I will.  There is also a book that we both love called Windows of The Soul by Ken Gire.  What is really fabulous about this book is that it talks about finding God every where, not just in church or on Sunday mornings.  He talks about nature and animals and he even talks about movies and television.

All this to say that I can't stop thinking about this week's episode of Glee.  I can not recommend this show for every one, it is silly and about teen agers and is a musical so clearly it's a bit different, but Brian and I happen to really like it.  It's different, and deals with all sorts of issues and sometimes we agree with their take on it and some times we don't.  This week's episode (Grilled Cheesus) was all about spirituality and people's beliefs.  They did a good job walking the line of trying not to offend any body while staying true to the sensitive nature of the topic.  While I did not agree with every thing they said ("church is full of people who hate gays and women" maybe  it was suppose to be funny?) I did like that they didn't show the people with faith as stupid and ignorant; in fact the characters who were the most adamantly opposed to God came off as being a bit bigoted in their own way.  I liked that they didn't give us any definitive answers, at the end of the episode one of the young men was still struggling with believing, because in real life these issues aren't solved and put into a nice neat package at the end of fifty minutes.

Two things that really struck me (and please understand these are not exact quotes but as close as I can remember them) was a conversation between Kurt and Mercedes.  Kurt is hurting over the illness of his dad and very outspoken against any forms of faith, Mercedes says to him, "I know you don't believe but I feel like if you close yourself off to anything spiritual your going to miss out on a whole other world.  Life's too hard to go through it alone." Can I get an Amen?! How many of us, even Christians, are not experiencing every thing there is, every thing God wants for us?  The second thing was Sue Sylvester (the evil cheer leading coach) was talking about how she had lost her faith because when she was young she had prayed that her special needs sister would be healed. She said "I realized that it wasn't that I wasn't praying hard enough, it was that no one was listening" this really struck of cord with me and I'm sure we've all been there but the amazing thing was that her sister basically tells her that God doesn't make mistakes and that she wasn't healed because she was perfect the way God made her.  Tears even as I write this! How many parents have had to learn this truth the hard way?  How many Christians have refused to believe this in order to stay comfortable with the way they think things should be?????

The best quote, I thought, of the entire episode was when the guidance counselor says to Finn, "The big questions are big for a reason.  Every one struggles with them." They ended the episode with Alanis Morissett's song What If God Were One of Us. And it's this music that's been playing in my head all week (When this song was popular my mom really hated it, but the more I listen to the lyrics the more I feel like it's not anti-God it's just a song expressing one of those "big questions" and isn't that what art is for?) also I took out the chorus b/c that's not what I wanted to talk about:


If God had a name what would it be?
And would you call it to his face?
If you were faced with him in all his glory
what would you ask if you had just one question?

If God had a face
What would it look like?
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like heaven and Jesus and the saints
and all the Prophets

What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
Just trying to make his way home
Back up to Heaven all alone
Nobody callin' on the phone
cept for the Pope maybe in Rome

What a simple way to ask such tough questions.  And the thing is I could give you scriptures to answer so many of these.  God does have a name, it's father (psalm 69:30), You can talk to God and you don't need a phone (John 9:31), God IS one of us, he is here all around us (John 14:16). But that's not really the solution is it?  The real problem is:
      If God had a face
     What would it look like?
     And would you want to see
     If seeing meant that you would have to believe
     In things like heaven and Jesus and the saints
     and all the Prophets
The real problem is deciding if you want to believe.  Believing in God means changing your life, it means giving things over to him.  So many people are looking for an excuse NOT to believe because they're scared, or selfish or they like their life the way it is.  Faith is scary and when it really comes down to it you either decide to believe or you don't, no amount of evidence either way is going to change that. Living for God does open up an entire new world but some times it means closing doors on things in this one and that can be too hard for some people to handle.  I just wish that more people could know what God truly wants for them all that he has to offer.

So you all suffered through my ramblings on a musical television show.  Where are some unusual places you've seen God, or spirituality?

The Better Homes & Gardens Saga Volume I

I love cheesy things.  Both of the dairy and emotional variety.  I can not help but pick up super cheesy cook books and the like if they have those illustrations from the fifties.  Following is the beginning of my Better Homes and Gardens Handyman's Book from 1951 put in my own prose.

Chapter One:

"Oh I'm so lucky to have a handyman for a husband!" Emily thought to herself dreamily, "even if I did have to marry a giant! Just look at his bulging tricep. Maybe he'll notice my ridiculous shoes and huge pockets."

"Is my miniature wife looking at me?" Jim asked while chewing on his pipe. "Good, I was hoping she'd notice my giant muscle." then, thinking to himself; "Flex Jimmie Flex! Oh yea I am awesome!"

Coming soon chapter two...

I got new windows!

Isn't that exciting?  Well, it is to me you see we have three huge living room windows that do not open! They are only one single pain of glass so they are cold in the winter (you can seriously feel the winter air blasting right through them) and in the summer there is no cross breeze! Ugh, I've hated it since we moved in and honestly they're a little modern looking for my tastes.

So after we had our bathroom remodeled which was a huge improvement in the house and a big "grown up" step for us we had some money left over with which my husband suggested we replace the two, slightly smaller windows in the living room.  I did a dance and kissed him.

It is crazy how something as small as windows can change the look of your house! These windows have pains which is way more my style (because I'm a pain in the butt! Get it! That one was for you dad).  They open and close and can tilt in for easy cleaning (which means they will get cleaned at least twice as much as they had before since I'm pretty sure they've been cleaned once in four years).  Windows are pricey though, the cost of these with installation was in the $700 range and all our windows are old so I think it will be a slow process of changing out two a year. Oh my some day I'll be able to open the windows with out having holes in the screens so large squirrels can get in (just kidding they're not that big... or maybe they're just afraid of the dog).

Now that the outside of my house looks great, and I have great new windows I have to get new curtains! I've hated these curtains for so long; now they're even worse! Oh if only the list of things I need was smaller then the amount of money I do have... mom, if I don't get new curtains before christmas (which I hope to) add that to my christmas list.

What look of curtain do you all think I should go for?  I'm thinking a blue to pick up some of the blue in my cool chair or maybe an oatmeal with texture? I'd love your opinions.

This is going to get weird.

I'm not sure why, but what I want to share with you today is strange but it's been on my mind for a while.  I want to begin by saying I am NOT a biblical scholar I am NOT an expert on Ancient Hebrew traditions.  I am a Christian woman who loves to study the scripture I am also an american woman who at times is conflicted over seeming discrimination in the pages of scriptures.  I have tons and tons to say on this very broad topic but today I want to talk about Leviticus 15:19-33


19 " 'When a woman has her regular flow of blood, the impurity of her monthly period will last seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till evening.


 20 " 'Anything she lies on during her period will be unclean, and anything she sits on will be unclean. 21 Whoever touches her bed must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening. 22 Whoever touches anything she sits on must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening. 23 Whether it is the bed or anything she was sitting on, when anyone touches it, he will be unclean till evening.


 24 " 'If a man lies with her and her monthly flow touches him, he will be unclean for seven days; any bed he lies on will be unclean.


 28 " 'When she is cleansed from her discharge, she must count off seven days, and after that she will be ceremonially clean. 29 On the eighth day she must take two doves or two young pigeons and bring them to the priest at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting. 30 The priest is to sacrifice one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering. In this way he will make atonement for her before the LORD for the uncleanness of her discharge.

Ok right about now your thinking I've lost my mind but please stick with me.  This passage has always bothered me, it bugs me that we're considered "unclean" over something we have no control over and over something God himself gave us.  It bothers me that this uncleanness comes with headaches and cramps and fatigue and that if it weren't for this whole thing there would be no new life.  How can something so "vile" be the thing that brings babies into the world?

On the other hand I have always believed that most GOD ordained (not man ordained) things in scripture have a dual purpose, especially in the Old Testament, first to make God's people visible to those around them (circumcision makes them physically different) but also to keep them physically more safe and healthy (there is less risk of infection to a sensitive area during a time when there were no daily showers).  Take not eating pork for example; first other cultures notice that the Hebrews don't eat pork but also pork can be deadly if not cooked properly which is made even more difficult if you are cooking over a camp fire.

So this is the back ground to what lead me to where we're headed.  My husband is reading through the Bible in a year and happened upon the above scripture.  We talked, joked mostly, about it a little as it's a very sensitive topic for my husband (I grew up with a biology teacher for a dad, a mom and two sisters I am not sensitive about this topic) and we happened upon the fact that in ancient Hebrew culture the women would go to "the red tent" during times of child birth and their monthly period.  A day or two later I was hiding in the bathroom (did I say hiding? I meant cleaning that sounds less pathetic right?) while the children were running wild.  And it occurred to me, women in ancient cultures had it a lot tougher then me.  They had no bathrooms to hide in (I mean clean).  I don't think they went on many dates with their husbands. They had to sew, grind grain, make food etc, and usually had way more kids then we do with out the luxury of a basement to run and escape the noise (what did I come down here for any way? Oooh my secret chocolate stash!)

So maybe the fact that they "had" to leave their insanely small houses or tents full of children and husbands to go be alone with other women wasn't such a bad thing.  Think about it; they had to leave no one could make them feel guilty for going.  They got to spend a week chatting with other women learning from other women.  During the time of the month when you're not feeling so great at least your not being demanded on by six small kids.  Think back to that first scary horrifying period you had, wouldn't it have been great to not have to face your brothers or dad and be surrounded by other older wiser women who would care for you and explain the miracle of it all?  How about when you have your children? In a culture with out hospitals and epidurals who better to care for you than other women?  Women who have been there, what an amazing way for a young woman to learn about life! For a good two weeks after you give birth your with other women who will help you and let you sleep and show you the ropes of breast feeding!

The term "unclean" can mean a lot of things.  Let's be real having your period isn't very clean, especially before Tampax and Always came along.  It's in our mind that God is saying there is something spiritually unclean about menstruating but maybe he's just saying it's messy.  Before washers and dryers and back when you were living in such close quarters you would need to be careful about spreading germs and disease, but God did not design the cycle of life to hamper our spirits.  Having your period does not make you sinful!  God knew that women were going to have a hard time, that the demands made on them would not always be fair and that they would not always be treated fairly, he also designed us to need fellowship with other women and that is why I think there was a wonderful joyful dual purpose in the red tent.  God ordained that women would take time away from their duties as wife and mother and spend real quality time with other women.  I think that is really amazing.
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