breast feeding

1-12-07

I had a pretty easy pregnancy, it really wasn't until the last month that I got really uncomfortable. Luckily for me my water broke three weeks early and after a few scares during and right after delivery we became parents to the most adorable baby boy I've ever seen. Seriously people stop us in the store to look at him.

Now I was determined to breast feed, but I had no clue how hard it was going to be. Even now three months later I find that I'm still a little sore. While we're talking about breast feeding I would like to bring to everyone's attention the lies that I have discovered in the books and the from the experts. "Breast fed babies don't get constipated and won't have gas" huge lie, my sweet tiny baby has man farts, I'm serious they are as loud as his fathers! "Breast fed babies won't get sick" as I write this my poor little guy has a cold that we just seem to be passing back and forth. "Your breasts will only be sore for a while, and if they hurt your doing something wrong." I have been to all different kinds of lactation specialists and while some of thier advice was good, some of it also made it worse and I still have sore nipples.

The books said that it was more convenient to breast feed, no bottles, perfect temperature every time, and your boobs are always with you. Those things are true but unless you're extremely liberated your not going to whip your boob out in the middle of steak and shake, or while your scouring the racks at your favorite department store. Therefore, I find that I'm always searching for a place to feed him, or worried that if I don't gulp down my food he'll wake up and want to eat and then I'll have to try to pay the waitress before dessert while other customers glare at me and my screaming "angel". I've fed him in the car, in bathrooms, practically anywhere you can get some privacy.

I can't just "go" anymore. My husband gets to take the youth group out for pizza but I know that my darling is going to wake up and need to eat so I have to go home to my jealous dog and empty fridge since I haven't had time to grocery shop in weeks. Don't get me wrong I know it's what's best for him and I'm still committed to the breast feeding but in my perfect picture of what being a house wife would be I never imagined that I could feel so trapped. It's winter here and there are days when I don't even go outside. There have been days when I do nothing but cry and believe me I'm counting down the days to when I can start to add in solids.